Saturday, February 14, 2009

something is wrong with my days! something is wrong with time!! i don't know what is going on, but this semester i feel like i'm in some sort of crazy temporal whirlwind....i'm a few seconds behind on everything essential *like responding to people who are talking to me....there's a pause, some confusion, i furrow my brows....."excuse me, what?" i keep having to ask.* and years behind, i feel, on everything else. i'm not sure why i feel this way, but it's a bit disconcerting.

Perhaps it has something to do with my insane sleeping schedule, which i'm really trying to get back on track. During finals/the MLA, i was on some sort of crazy no-sleep, no-caffeine or stimulants but totally wired mode pattern, so much so that for days i could not sleep and when i tried i'd twitch nervously in bed until i got up again...the MLA brought a brief reprieve since the bed in the SF Mariott was INCREDIBLE. I need a bed like that. It was heaven. The whole trip was heaven actually, they had placed me in an awful room right against the elevator shaft and as soon as i got there and heard the racket that all those chains and pulleys or whatever make, i asked to switch rooms. they put me, little me, by myself, in this humongous business suite!--a giant bed, a work desk/computer, a regular desk, a kitchen area, a living room with sofas and stuff. Oh, i was so sad when the conference was bed is comfortable-ish, but is from ikea and has a cheap mattress so it just cant compare. Finals petered out after the MLA though, i went home to my father's house, and barely slept since my cats and dog just hover over me staring, fighting with each other (just the crazy cats), fighting to have the rights to sleep on me, whimpering, etc., all while i'm on the couch trying to sleep/read/find inner peace. Once I came back to school, i started the strangest sleep cycle-thing i've ever had i think. the first three weeks of classes, i was crashing around 6 or 7 pm. i'd fall asleep by about 8 and wake up at 1 in the morning. then i'd be up lesson planning and doing homework until 8am, head over to school and come home about 6. it was bizarre, and i never want that pattern again. it made the whole world seem so QUIET--i missed people's calls for weeks and weeks. Now things are a bit more normal, but i'm reverting slowly to my old habits of very little sleep. I've been falling asleep around 2 and waking up at 6 or 6:30. i wish i were a better sleeper, i just wake at the slightest noise and have never been able to stay in bed for very long anyways....sigh

oh well. so that is one thing to work on, this long *thank god thank god* weekend. also, i need to get organized and clean up my room (at the moment i am living in squalor. like those houses on tv packed with cats and monkeys or whatnot).......and focus on the school stuff. i figure if i actually work decently for one weekend (i have this bad habit of taking the entire weekend off, watching tv i don't even like......) so, if i work well today and tomorrow and just read on Monday, that would set me up nicely for the month i think. or perhaps i'm being too optimistic. BLERG! this post is jumbled and incoherent, i'm fizzling out....

weekend list:
1. make flashcards for language exam
2. grant app #1
3. grant app #2
4. durrr, read book for next week's class
5. lesson plan 1 and 2
6. look at diagnostic essays from waaaaay back
7. requisite emails to profs
8. start converting presentation from last week into a paper?
9. prepare presentation 1
10. do reading for presentation 2
11. reading for tues. class
12. translation homework
13. reading for wednesday class
14. prepare presentation 3
15. conference abstract/find out if they want us to rewrite it
16. try to organize SOME part of room of doom

hmmm, i cant think of anything else but i know i'm forgetting things. already, this seems too ambitious. ah well, at least i have a list of what i need to do and hopefully am not forgetting too much.

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